It's Not Waterboarding — It's a Tactical Baptism Patch

For the person who treats sarcasm like an accessory and prefers their humiliation served with tactical flair. This 2" x 4" patch says what your face won't — and sticks where adventure (or bad decisions) take you.

Perfect for hat-wearers, jacket-jockeys, and bag-loaders who live the AXG Life: Life, Adventure-Ready. If you're a Tactical Gear Junkie or just someone who likes their patches unapologetically literal, this one's for you.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high by 4 inches wide — big enough to be noticed, small enough to pass a TSA glare.
• Color: Black background with white lettering — exactly like the photos, no color surprise party.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing for easy attachment to loop panels on hats, bags, and jackets.
• Compatibility: Designed for any gear with loop fastener panels — velcro-friendly and attention-grabbing.
• Origin: Made in the USA — handcrafted smugness included.

Performance & Benefits

This patch does three things really well: it communicates your sense of humor from 10 feet away, it survives weather and active debauchery, and it attaches in seconds so you can get back to whatever questionable plan you had.

• Turns plain hats and jackets into conversation starters — or polite warnings.
• Hook backing means quick swaps between gear: attach it, rip it off, redeploy elsewhere without sewing.
• Durable materials keep the look sharp after rain, mud, or that impromptu river crossing you swore wouldn’t happen.
• Great for gifting fellow Tactical Gear Junkie friends who appreciate humor with a tactical twist.

Short, punchy, and unapologetically blunt — like your best adventure decisions. Add this patch to the lineup and let your gear do the talking while you collect stories.

Ready to upgrade your patch game? Toss it in your pack, slap it on your hat, and make your next campsite laugh. Add to cart and make Monday jealous.