Beat Yo Ass & Hide The Bible If God Watchin' — 2x3 Multicam Black Patch

Small in size, loud in personality — this 2" x 3" patch says what you won’t. If your gear could talk, it’d probably sound like this: equal parts grin and forewarning. Perfect for the person who wants to be funny, a little cheeky, and unmistakably tactical.

Who it’s for: the hat-and-jacket crowd who likes humor that’s as rugged as their kit — the Tactical Gear Junkie who also enjoys a good meme. Built for the AXG Life, because Life, Adventure-Ready means your sense of humor travels with you.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high × 3 inches wide — compact, readable, not obnoxious.
• Colorway: Multicam Black with red accents — stealthy with attitude. No other color variations available.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing included — sticks securely to loop panels on hats, bags, and jackets.
• Construction: Durable embroidered patch that stands up to abrasion and questionable decisions.
• Made in the USA: Crafted domestically with attention to detail.

Performance & Benefits

Throw this on a cap, pack, or jacket and instantly level up your casual intimidation and comic timing. The hook backing makes swaps and moves painless — swap patches faster than you can explain the joke. Multicam Black keeps it low-profile on tactical kit, while the red text ensures your message still hits home.

This patch solves two problems: it communicates personality without a 10-minute monologue, and it survives being tossed in a gear bin with everything else. Built for midnight trail runs, tailgate shenanigans, and questionable decisions that become great stories later.

Why you’ll actually use it

• Keeps your gear interesting without being fragile.
• Fastener backing means no sewing required — swap locations on the fly.
• Made to match practical kit aesthetics while standing out just enough.

Ready for action: Toss this patch on your favorite cap or pack and let it do the talking. Add to cart and make your gear as memorable as your stories.