Emotional Support Rifle — Do Not Pet Patch (2"x3")

Yes, it’s cheeky. Yes, it gets a laugh. This Desert Tan w/Coyote patch announces your vibe before you say a word — equal parts tactical wink and social commentary. For the person who likes gear that talks back, this one’s for you.

Who it’s for

Designed for hat-lovers, jacket-wranglers, and bag-customizers who appreciate durable patches with personality. Perfect for Tactical Gear Junkie types, weekend adventurers, and anyone subscribing to the AXG Life — Life, Adventure-Ready with a side of sarcasm.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high by 3 inches wide (yes, those exact dimensions).
• Color: Desert Tan with Coyote accents — no other color options available.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing for easy attachment to loop panels on hats, bags, and jackets.
• Material & Construction: Rugged, clearly printed patch built to handle outdoor life and questionable decisions.
• Made in the USA.

Performance & Benefits

This patch turns ordinary kit into conversation-starting armor. It’s lightweight but bold — sticks securely to loop panels, so it won’t bail mid-hike or mid-commute. It adds character to your gear without getting in the way, and it’s small enough to mix-and-match with the rest of your patches.

Practical wins: quick identity at a glance, protects you from awkward small-talk (sometimes), and makes your hat/job/vest unmistakably yours. In short: it helps you look intentional about your sense of humor.

Built for midnight trail runs, roadside coffee stops, and questionable decisions — this patch keeps your kit readable and your friends entertained.

Ready to Stick It On?

Toss it on your favorite cap or bag and let the patch do the talking — add to cart and give your gear a personality upgrade that’s equal parts snark and pride.