As Seen on Socials - "I Am Only Here For The Titties and the HAWK TUAH!" 2x3 Patch — Marpat Woodland w/Neon Green

Want a patch that says exactly what your sense of humor whispered at 2 a.m.? This 2" x 3" embroidered patch delivers sass, style, and a neon wink — perfect for the person who treats life like an adventure and a punchline. Built for the bold, designed for everyday grit. AXG Life — Life, Adventure-Ready.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high by 3 inches wide — compact but unignorable.
• Colorway: Marpat Woodland background with Neon Green lettering/highlight for max contrast.
• Backing: Hook fastener (Velcro-style) — sticks to hats, bags, and jackets with loop panels.
• Use: Ideal for caps, backpacks, tactical rigs, or that jacket you only wear when you want conversations.
• Origin: Made in the USA.

Performance & Benefits

This patch doesn’t just look rowdy — it’s practical. The hook backing keeps it firmly attached to loop panels through hikes, commutes, and questionable decision-making. The Marpat Woodland camo tones down the chaos while the neon green pops so your message gets across without shouting.

Whether you’re a tactical gear junkie who collects patches like tiny ego boosts, or you just want your hat to do the talking, this patch is durable, easy to swap between gear, and made to survive the weirdness of real life. Turns stuck weekends into better stories and midweek errands into small acts of rebellion.

Why you’ll actually use it

• Quick to attach and swap — no sewing, just press and go.
• Small size means it fits almost anywhere without looking cluttered.
• Eye-catching neon on camo = compliments, smirks, or the occasional raised eyebrow.

Add a little AXG-edgy personality to your kit. Toss it on your favorite cap or pack, and let the patch do the talking while you collect the stories. Add to cart and make your gear funnier (and slightly more dangerous).