If You Shoot Me You're Gay — 2x4 Patch (Coyote w/White)

Stick this patch on and let your gear do the talking — loudly and with questionable consequences. Part tongue-in-cheek, part tactical flair, this 2" x 4" hook-back patch is for people who like their humor blunt and their kit functional. AXG Life: Life, Adventure-Ready — even if your jokes get you weird looks at the trailhead.

Who it's for

For hikers who double as stand-up comics, hat-collectors with an attitude, and Tactical Gear Junkie types who insist on personality with their plate carriers. If you carry humor the way you carry a compass — always handy — this patch is for you.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high × 4 inches wide — big enough to read from across the picnic table, small enough to fit on hats, jackets, and packs.
• Color: Coyote background with white lettering — exactly as shown in photos; no other color variations available.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing — sticks to any loop-panel on hats, bags, and jackets.
• Made in the USA: Quality stitching and materials from home turf.

Performance & Benefits

This patch does three things well: it makes people laugh (or grimace), it customizes your kit without sewing, and it survives outdoors without turning into a soggy meme. The hook fastener backing installs in seconds and holds up to shoulder slaps, backpack rub, and rain-soaked storytelling.

Practical perks: quick swap between hats and pack panels, low-profile sizing that won’t flap annoyingly on windy ridge lines, and durable stitching that keeps the message clear after multiple washes or questionable campfire choices. In short, it turns stuck weekends into better campfire stories and gives your gear character without sacrificing utility.

Care & Compatibility

• Attach to any loop fastener panel — hats, tactical bags, jacket panels.
• Spot clean when necessary; durable enough for regular outdoor use.

Note: Design is sold as shown — coyote with white only.

Ready to add a little attitude to your kit? Toss it on your favorite cap or pack and make your next trailhead a little more interesting — add to cart and confuse strangers responsibly.