I'm Here To Stack Bodies and Eat Crayons — Multicam Black w/White Patch

Wearable attitude for people who prefer their humor dark and their gear functional. This 2" x 4" Multicam Black w/White patch tells the world you're here for blunt efficiency and questionable snack choices — and you're unapologetic about it. Perfect for hats, bags, and jackets with loop panels, because AXG Life believes your kit should have personality and a sense of humor.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high × 4 inches wide — big enough to read from across the campfire, small enough not to hog the morale patch real estate.
• Color: Multicam Black background with crisp white lettering for high-contrast readability.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing — snaps onto standard loop panels on hats, bags, plate carriers, and jackets.
• Material & Origin: Durable embroidered patch made in the USA, built to hold up to travel, training, and poor life choices.
• Compatibility: Designed for loop fastener panels—ideal for tactical backpacks, ball caps, and outerwear.

Performance & Benefits

Stitch this thing on and instantly upgrade your kit’s personality without sacrificing practicality. The hook fastener backing means you can swap it out between missions, commutes, and weekend shenanigans — no sewing machine or tears required. The high-contrast Multicam Black with white text stays readable in low light and still looks sharp when you’re pretending to be subtle.

Built for people who love functional gear and a dry one-liner, this patch withstands being tossed in a duffel, slapped on a tactical plate carrier between drills, or stuck to your favorite beanie for early-morning hikes. In short: it turns dull kit into a conversation starter and turns stuck weekends into hero stories (or at least an awkward chuckle).

Why it matters

AXG Life — Life, Adventure-Ready — means your kit should work hard and look like it’s ready for a story. This patch signals intent without a lecture: you’re prepared, slightly irreverent, and probably packing snacks that double as questionable decisions. It also plays nicely with other tactical patches if you’re assembling a curated chaos of morale options.

Made in the USA and crafted to last, this patch is for the tactical gear junkie, the weekend warrior, and anyone who appreciates a good one-liner glued to their gear.

Add it to your kit and start telling better tales. Toss it on a hat, slap it on a pack, and make your gear do the talking — add to cart and make Monday jealous.