"You Don't Know Me, You've Just Seen My Penis" — 2x4 Patch (Coyote w/Coyote)

Funny, unapologetic, and oddly specific — this patch tells it like it is so you don’t have to. If your hat, jacket, or bag needs a little attitude (and a lot of clarity), slap this patch on and let the awkward conversations begin. Built for people who camp, hike, and heckle their own dignity — welcome to AXG Life: Life, Adventure-Ready.

Key Features & Design

• Size: 2 inches high × 4 inches wide — big enough to be noticed, small enough to not get you evicted from the trailhead.
• Color: Coyote w/Coyote — muted tactical tones that blend with gear and questionable life choices.
• Backing: Hook fastener backing — attaches to any loop fastener panel on hats, bags, and jackets.
• Application: Ideal for hats, backpacks, jackets, vests, and loop-panel MOLLE setups.
• Origin: Made in the USA — sewn and sarcastic with domestic quality.
• Variations: This is exactly what you see — no color variants, no surprises (except the message).

Performance & Benefits

This patch does what patches do best: it communicates, decorates, and endures. The hook fastener keeps it secure on loop panels through rain, mud, and regrettable detours. The coyote tone plays well with tactical kits and casual gear alike, so whether you’re a Tactical Gear Junkie or just someone who appreciates blunt humor, it integrates seamlessly.

Stick it on a hat for instant personality upgrades, affix it to your pack to start conversations at the campground, or slap it on a jacket to ward off small talk. In short: it turns stuck weekends into slightly better stories and is built for midnight trail runs and questionable decisions.

Why You'll Like It

• Bold message without the heavy lifting — communicates your vibe from six feet away.
• Durable hook backing for easy removal, repositioning, or theft by your friend who thinks it’s hilarious.
• Designed to match the rugged, minimalist aesthetic of AXG Life — Life, Adventure-Ready.

Add this patch to your kit and let your gear do the talking. Toss it on your favorite hat or pack and go make campfire conversations more interesting — add to cart and make Monday jealous.